Relationships Make the Difference

The monthly newsletter from my credit union arrived the other day.  The tag line read, "Relationships make the difference." Of course, my credit union is referring to my relationship with them adding to their bottom line, but the truthfulness of the statement grabbed my attention . . . relationships do make the difference.

Research shows that relationships help our brains and our emotions to develop.

As a leader, I like to see strong relationships between my staff members, but as an educator I believe that our relationships with children are some of the most important relationships we can form.

Relationships help our brains to develop

According to Brain Development and Early Learning, a publication of the Wisconsin Council on Children and Families, these important relationships are formed during infancy and extend well into the teen years.    

We are born with billions of neurons which connect together through synapses that wire our brains for action. These synoptic connections are happening rapidly through the first few years of life; therefore, a child's environment and experiences greatly affect the amount of synaptic connections and the type of synaptic connections that will be created.  

Brain Development and Early Learning also suggests that our brain cells operate on a "use it or lose it" principle, so only those connections and pathways that are activated frequently are retained. This makes our relationships with children critical to their development.  What types of positive experiences are we exposing them to repeatedly? I suggest two activities in which we should be participating with our children every day:

1) Reading 
2) Exposure to rich language 

Reading to our children and exposing them to rich language create the foundation for a child's use and understanding of words.  But the research goes far beyond a child's linguistic development.

Relationships help our emotions to develop

J. Newberger, in her article entitled New Brain Development Research, talks about how our relationships with children affect their emotional development as well: "The brain's connections develop quickly in response to outside stimulation, particularly during the first 3 years of life. A child's experiences, good or bad, influence the wiring of the brain and the connections in the nervous system. Thus when we snuggle a baby or talk to him or her in a singsong rhythm we are contributing to the growth of his or her brain."

She goes on to state that when children are faced with physical or emotional trauma, high levels of cortisol are released. Cortisol is a stress hormone that "May cause the death of brain cells and reduce the number of connections between the cells and certain areas of the brain." Research shows that adults who have experienced chronic or intense activation of the brain system that produces cortisol shows shrinkage of certain areas of the brain that are important to learning and memory.  Newberger continues, "Studies measuring the levels of cortisol and children's saliva show that those who receive warm and responsive care from caregivers are able to turn off this stress sensitive response more quickly and efficiently. Babies with strong emotional bonds to their caregivers consistently lower levels of cortisol in their brains. Positive and nurturing experiences can help brighten a child's future, whereas negative experiences can do the opposite." 

Based upon this research, it's not surprising that children cultivate 85% of their intellect and personality by age 5.  The relationships that we cultivate with them have everything to do with that.  I guess my credit union has it right . . . relationships make the difference.  What types of relationships are you cultivating? 

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